Asking isn’t the scary bit …

Asking, it goes without saying that it’s a good idea. We might resist it until we’re really desperate, simply because it’s mildly terrifying to put yourself out there, but eventually there comes a time when all of us learn, first hand, the power of the ask.

You’ve probably got examples of times when you asked something of someone and the results were terrific. Whether it was a simple little ask, like the time you asked a member of your family to do something for you, or something bigger, like that really cool gig you didn’t expect to get but put yourself forward for, just in case.

We know good stuff comes from asking but still we resist it. I got to thinking about what it is we’re actually afraid of. Is it the fear of rejection or the idea of making ourselves vulnerable? By asking for help we’re proving to the askee that we’re not wonder woman and cannot in fact do all of the things unaided.

Or maybe we’re afraid of what might happen if they say “yes”?

I was forced to confront this head on this week when a friend replied to one of these emails to tell me how much it had helped, and that she’d forwarded it on to several friends.

Brilliant! I have a special page for this very purpose. Having stepped away from social media for the near foreseeable future, such sharing is exactly what I could have asked for – and I didn’t even have to ask!

“But what if they don’t like me as much as she does? What if they think my words are silly and trite? What if, what it, what if?!?”

Actually no, that’s not what I’m really afraid of. Those are superficial vanity fears. Here’s what it really comes down to …

What if they read the email, say ‘yes’ to signing up for it for themselves, love it, tell all their friends who tell all their friends, and suddenly, without warning, this little daily missive goes out to hundreds and hundreds of people?!?

But that would be brilliant, wouldn’t it? Well yes, but …

And in that “but” lies the real reason asking is terrifying.

That “but” masks the myriad of sub-conscious doubts and fears, about who I am as a person and what it would really be like to have a message that impacted thousands of people each day. I’d love it but …

And I know I can’t be alone. Whatever the ask is for you personally, what will happen when someone says yes? And what’s your “but”?

Find your “but”, force yourself to confront it head on, and immediately it starts to lose its power. Magic!

P.S. In the interest of facing that “but” head on, if you know someone who needs these daily missives, would you introduce us please? And yes, you can even use the snazzy special page! ?  Thank you! ?