Time is a relative construct.

I hear that but I don’t really know what it means! It sounds like something clever people say.

From my perspective, time is largely irrelevant. Its only relevance comes from your relationship with it. Time stresses you out or leaves you feeling less than and that, in turn, gets my attention because I’m interested in all things pertaining to you.

But I don’t fret the speed of the passing of time like you do because I have all the time in the world. Nothing is ever lost to me because of time, but you don’t have that luxury, so what are you going to do about it?

I don’t really know. What would you like me to do about it? Is this an invitation for more structure? Maybe a list of things to do each morning so that I don’t miss anything?

What’s your obsession with lists?

I think they help keep me accountable, bring structure to my day, and order to an otherwise scattered mind.

Your mind isn’t scattered, it simply moves fast. “Fast” is not the same as “scattered” and never forget that I made you, all of you, including your mind. You are beautifully made, all of you, including your mind.

I’m just feeling regretful because although we’ve of course chatted over the last few days, it’s been light and practical things.

Practical things, yes. If by “light” you mean “fun” or “frivolous” then maybe, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But don’t forget the nudges, you had lots of those too, and I was in all of them. There’s no need for regret.

You have to recognise and let me help you get comfortable with the idea of us doing life together in a way that is different to what it was when you were self-employed.

You tell people that you weren’t looking for a job and that you truly believe it was all me. If that’s true then you also have to realise that the challenges you might encounter as a result of the differences in your day to day life and routine are of me too.

And since I saw and knew that this is where we would be headed, is it too much of a stretch for you to believe that I might also be able to prepare a path for us to do life together, even if it looks different to previously?

When we started journalling again, I thought we’d be doing it daily. I know the shared version of these conversations included a note about the frequency being irregular but I didn’t actually think that that would be the case. I honestly thought we’d find a way to journal together and publish those conversations every day, just like we used to before.

You set yourself up to fail then because I never said we’d be journalling daily, did I? And even right now, you’re thinking about what you can change or tweak to make it daily but what if that’s not my best for you?

How can spending time together each day not be your best?

I said nothing about not spending time together. I’m with you all the time in all of the things you do and in every single action you take. You don’t need to journal to spend time with me. There are so many different ways that we do life together, this is just one of them.

Instead of trying to go back to how things were in a different season, why don’t you instead let us do life together in this one, without attaching conditions and rules around what that looks like?

Explore with me all of the different ways we can do life together, including journalling of course. But if you make journalling the ultimate or ideal way for us to do life together, you’ll miss out on many wonderful opportunities.

You asked me for my best for you. Doing life together, all of life, is my best for you, even when that looks messy, unstructured or very practical.

—

You’ve been reading the next (last for now?) in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

You’re wondering what happened, where the time went recently after starting together so strongly, journalling together every day and it’s been, from your perspective at least, so many days but, from my perspective, it looks very different.

I’ve been here the whole time, loving on you, holding you, walking with you, carrying you, crying with you. You were never alone in any of the days, even when things felt difficult - especially when things felt difficult!

Would you prefer to stop sharing our conversations? Are you putting pressure on yourself that makes it feel difficult for you?

Quite honestly, I’m not sure. It’s possible I suppose but hearing you say that feels so silly, especially given how much I enjoyed the time we’ve had together.

Maybe it’s less about the actual journalling, because sitting and writing with you is never difficult. It’s more about the logistics because I know that if we do this, I’ll feel obliged to find the time to type this up and publish it, but I also don’t know where in the day to squeeze it in.

You’ve had a pretty intense few days. What if you permissioned yourself not to have to publish all our conversations right away?

That could work. But what about this conversation? Do people really need to read all of this? What would be the point?

What’s the “point” of publishing any of our conversations? Why did you start?

You tell me! I was simply following a nudge. I still don’t really know, see or understand the purpose of any of this. But I’m all ears, very happy to hear your thoughts.

That’s all I want in any of this. I want to move in your best and do and have and experience everything that you have for me.

Why does that make you feel angsty and on edge? You’re afraid of missing something, not hitting the mark, but what if I told you that that could never happen?

I’d ask you if you’re sure, even though you’re you and so of course you’re sure!

What if there was never any “mark” to hit? It was never about what you do and always about you being you.

But the reality is that there are things to do. Even if I ignored the nudges for more when I’m at home and just approached this from the perspective of work, it wouldn’t be enough for me to simply show up and “be”.

You know that that is not true! Part of you being you is about walking in all the gifts, talents and favour I’ve given you. If you didn’t move in those things, you wouldn’t be being you.

So it is about the “doing” as much as the “being?!

I did not say that!

What are you saying?

Stop worrying so much about the outcomes and instead, trust me in your life. Trust that I know exactly what I’m doing and so all you really need to do is move with me, flowing moment to moment, hearing and following the nudges.

If you can get to the end of a day and reflect that yes, we did it all together, that makes it a very good day, a very good day indeed!

And that extends to these conversations too?

It extends to everything, all of life, without exception. It’s not about stifling you, far from it. This is about empowering you with a freedom that only comes from doing life with me, intentionally and deliberately.

And this is not about micro-managing you, you’re not my slave, employee or robot, you’re my child. You’re my child to whom I’ve gifted a brilliant, creative mind - so don’t be afraid to use the mind I gave you.

Move with me, intentionally and deliberately, and prepare for a brilliant adventure far beyond your wildest dreams and imagination!

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

What were the good bits? What are you most thankful for?

I’m really pleased to have got all those clothes to the charity shop after making a start tidying my bedroom, even if saying that makes me feel like a little kid being sent to tidy her room!

I’m also thankful for how easy it’s felt around processed sugar today. When I’ve tried previously, after an initial buzz of excitement, I’ve usually ended up feeling deprived. It feels different this time and I don’t want to speak too soon, but it feels “done” this time, and that feels great!

And of course the meeting in work was terrific too. I love the opportunity and the people it can help so yes, a really good day.

Thank you for your hand in all of the things today. I know you did stuff that I can’t see and I’m so thankful for that too. But that’s enough about me. What about you? What’s on your heart? What are you saying?

I love hearing and feeling the love and warmth coming from you. I never tire of that and you’re never “too much” for me. You don’t need to be quiet for my benefit and in truth, even when you’re trying to be quiet, you’re communicating so much because I don’t only hear what you say.

I hear what you don’t say, I can feel your emotions and I hear the questions, comments and uncertainties you keep inside your head.

But yes, there is something I’d enjoy exploring with you right now and it’s about the conditions you need for us to chat like this. You believed previously that you need quiet, instrumental music to hear me - and then I started speaking to you even when you had music on that included words.

And then you believed you had to be on your own with me in a room to hear me but here you are, sitting with your notebook quietly while others around you are reading.

You don’t need to jump through hoops or show up in a special way to talk with me. You simply need to be real and honest about where you’re at. Honesty is the best gift you can give me because I bless who you are, not who you pretend to be.

And so right now, when you’re uncertain and not sure, when you can feel yourself at risk of trying to control a situation that isn’t yours to control, when you want to do better but don’t know how, be honest about that.

I’m inviting you to let go of the illusion of control. It is only an illusion so let’s not pretend otherwise. What if you gave everything and everyone you’re concerned about to me?

If it’s on your heart, it’s on my heart - and I’ve already gone ahead of you and prepared a solution. You don’t have to try and figure it out on your own. Instead, simply flow with me and allow me to be God. “Let go and let God.” Yes, it’s a nice soundbite or bumper sticker but it’s also an invitation.

And no, letting go isn’t about sitting around passively doing nothing. Look at Jesus when he walked the earth. Was he passive? Did he hang around doing nothing? Nope, but he did only do what I did and spoke what was on my heart.

And yes, I hear you, it’s easier for him but it doesn’t have to be. You literally have my Spirit living inside of you. You can’t get much closer to me than that!

Wow! I don’t know what to say.

Yes wow. And you don’t have to say anything but I would love it if you could live like you believe my presence in you is true - me-helping you of course. Don’t run off with your willpower again.

But live like it’s true and be prepared for some incredible moments. The best is yet to come!

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

You read a book instead a few times and other times we were chatting without you writing anything down. Just because we’ve started this time intentionally again doesn’t mean it must be daily.

Doing something because you feel you should is making a religion out of something that’s simply about deepening relationship. Don’t do that! Religion is not my best for you. Relationship, not religion.

And I know that your commitment to sharing these conversations means something but you never promised a specific frequency so stop overthinking it and let’s just go with my flow, okay?

Sounds good, thank you. What about the words that were shared earlier about clearing out the things that are holding me back or getting in the way of our relationship?

I think I know what I heard in my spirit when that was shared but is that actually important to you?

Anything that comes between us is important to me and you believe it’s an issue for you, you see it as symptomatic of something bigger and, as a result, you’ve given it power that it was never meant to have. Plus, it’s not particularly good for you so why not throw it on the metaphorical bonfire?

So if I’m understanding you correctly, it’s not that it’s put a distance between us or that it stops us doing life together but because I believe it’s symptomatic of a problem, it is. Is that right?

Exactly! You believe it is an exterior symptom of internal struggles. In reality, stuff is just stuff but because of the meaning you’ve associated with it, it’s become an issue for you.

It’s a bit like the food offered to other gods that Paul wrote about. The other gods or idols don’t exist and, as such, he could enjoy the food with a clear conscience but when that enjoying got in the way of other people walking in relationship with me because of the meaning they assigned to it, then it became an issue.

Whatever you eat or drink, or don’t eat or don’t drink, do all of it with me. With me is the key in all this.

So put your stuff on the bonfire or don’t put it on the bonfire, but whether you do or you don’t, do life with me.

Can we explore the specifics of the things I’m putting on the bonfire please?

Yes, anything that you turn to for “zoning out” or quieting your emotions in some way needs to go.

So for example, the other day when you were feeling cold and a bit bored and all you wanted to do was drink coffee and eat sweet things, what was going on when you just wanted to eat and eat?

I’m not really sure but it was a bit like cocooning myself I think. It was a bit pointless really and it didn’t really even taste that good. It was just something about the texture and feeling full and the sweetness.

And that’s not really a problem for me, other than because you believe it to be an issue.

So you’re saying that if I change my beliefs about cake, for example, I can eat it as much as my heart desires and that wouldn’t be a problem for you?

In theory yes, but in practice, it’s not that simple because you are the sum of the things that have come before.

And so, for example, you know how lethargic and bloated it leaves you feeling. You also know your skin is better when you’re eating less processed sugar and you overall feel better in yourself. You can’t easily un-know something like that!

And you also know you have an issue with describing cake as your “heart’s desire” because you want me to hold that position and again, when you know, you can’t un-know.

And so whilst the processed sugar isn’t really an issue in and of itself and there are lots of people who can enjoy it quite happily, that’s not your story and you need to honour that in order to feel whole.

Just to be clear … I never see you as “less than”, I only look at you with love, but I’m content to meet you where you are and if you believe processed sugar is an issue for you, I will help you chuck it on the bonfire.

What does that look like?

It goes back to what I said earlier … with me is key. Stop trying to will power the processed sugar onto the bonfire. Instead, give it to me, give all things to me, and let’s do it, all of it and no matter what “it” looks like, together.

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

Why wouldn’t I? You asked me to wake you early if I wanted to spend time with you. Saying something like that is a dangerous prayer if you want to sleep through your alarm! And besides, I see your heart. I knew your intentions and that your words matched your heart.

Now all we need is for the dog to go back to sleep for a bit longer and this scenario will be perfect!

It is already done. Listen …

Wow! You’re good. Remember all those years ago when the children were little and I tried getting up at 5am to pray but I’d either fall asleep or wake one of them up?

Of course.

Would it have been different if I’d asked something similar then? Because that would have made things a lot easier!

That sounds like a “what if” and I’m not interested in what ifs. I’m in the right now, this moment. What I will say though is that again, I knew your heart and where we were at. It wasn’t even on your radar back then to have this kind of conversation with me.

And besides, you were doing the 5am wakeups out of a sense of duty or performance. That’s not something I can entertain.

Fair enough. I can’t help but wonder about all the opportunities I missed out on or things I made more difficult because I didn’t explore them with you.

That sounds like another “what if” in disguise. We’re not going there. You are who you are today and where you are today because of everything that’s gone before.

Whether things were more difficult or not is largely irrelevant, all things work together for your good when placed in my hands so if you want to do anything with the what ifs, give them to me and behold what I can do.

The dog’s started barking again. It feels like I might have to get her up.

Give her a moment to settle and when she doesn’t, get her up and give her a fuss. I’m in that moment too. Where else would I go?

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

You usually think of overwhelm as a negative or struggling word but yes, overwhelm can be great! I wouldn’t want you feeling so overwhelmed all of the time that you can’t function but enjoying time feeling overwhelmed by my goodness, love and provision is good.

Let those feelings propel you forward into everything I’m inviting you into because there is an infinite amount of my goodness, love and provision on offer - and not just for you.

You know this of course but I want to partner with you to share my goodness, love and provision with the world - and that starts with the very next person you see.

How do we make that happen?

We don’t make it happen, the how is on me and it is already finished. I’ve done all the heavy lifting and all you need to do is let me love you, let me fill you so full of an awareness of my love that it bubbles up and spills out onto the people you do life with.

Let me help you love like I do and know that the pressure is off. Like I reminded you earlier, you don’t have to find the right words or figure out a persuasive strategy. You simply need to show up and be you, with me.

We have explored this so much over the years. This is not new or fresh. What about that word about you doing a new thing? How does this fit with that?

It’s this and that. I’m doing a new thing and maturing you like fine wine. I’m sharing new dreams and ideas and taking the things that have gone before and moulding and fashioning them into a masterpiece. I’m birthing new creative expressions and bringing fulfilment to long ago promises. Why must it be either/or?

You make it sound so simple and after a day like today, it feels simple and light and joyful - but how do I keep in this place? How do I live from here instead of getting caught up with the hard stuff?

You can’t escape the hard stuff, it’s still here, but when you keep doing this, talking to me about everything and allowing me to love and encourage and grow you, even the hard stuff becomes more manageable.

Really? That feels like something nice that I’d like to hear rather than something based on any kind of reality. I don’t mean that rudely, I want it to be true, but I’m concerned that I’m simply hearing what I want to hear from you rather than your truth.

And this is why we’re having these conversations - and why I nudged you to share all of it instead of just the neat bits.

Because do you think you’re the first person to think this? One of the gifts I gave you is an ease with saying the things that other people keep in their heads (not that that stops me hearing of course!) and yes, it’s maybe gotten you into trouble on occasions but it’s still a gift that I have honed.

But let me answer your question with one of my own … do you remember the last time you heard something really bad? Something you really struggled with?

You know I do. I’m just not naming it because at this moment I’m aware of my commitment to sharing this whole conversation and I refuse to put that particular update “out there” but yes, I remember. It was really hard to hear and I’m still working through it, as you know.

Indeed, and in that “working through it” with me, what have you noticed happening?

It’s still really hard and if the very worst happens, it’s going to be indescribably difficult but I think I’m moving towards peace. It’s still hard and there’s a background genuine possibility that it could get harder but, day to day, it does feel more manageable.

And that might not yet be true for everyone connected to that specific situation but they’ll get there, me-helping them. The real key is to keep talking, keep being honest about where you’re at, and don’t compare or judge yourself for your feelings.

And remember that none of the hard stuff ever takes me by surprise. Yes, I could stop all of it and no, I don’t always do that and no, now is not the time to wrestle with that particular mystery but I am moving and working and loving on you in all things for good.

Even when “good” looks different to what I might expect it to. Yes, I know. I know and I don’t really always like it but I know that you are good and you are love. And I trust you.

Amen to that!

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

Also, I stayed up late last night journalling and now, after a busy day in work, I’m tired and ready for bed but I want to journal with you because I’m fascinated. I’d love to know what’s on your heart? What are you thinking about?

And please don’t fob me off with the line about how much higher your thoughts are. I know I can’t really get a handle on all that you consider but I want to believe there must be something on your heart that I can understand? And if so, what is it?

One word … love. Don’t roll your eyes. Yes, I know all things and there are mysteries and things you can’t imagine but everything, all of it, always comes back to love because I am love.

And so that’s what I’m thinking about … love. Simples.

That’s it? You don’t have anything else you’d like to share right now?

Is this about word count, you needing or thinking you need a certain number of words written in order for this to “count”? Because no performance, remember? That’s what you asked for and I take you at your word, so please take me at my word - and my word is love.

—

You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of these things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

But what if this is about more than just you? I love you and yes, I really believe it’s good for us to have this intentional time and this isn’t just about what you need. When you allow yourself to be a part of my story in this way, you open up opportunities for other people.

I don’t need to do it this way of course, you might not be my first choice, but I want to move through this life with you. I’d love to have your “yes”. Not my first choice but my first yes. Can you live with that?

And yes, I saw this moment and knew we’d get here but that doesn’t make it any less sweet.

You’ve had quite the year, learnt so much, grown in ways you could never have anticipated, and now we’re right here, right now, in this moment. How do you feel about that?

Does it really matter how I feel? What do feelings have to do with it?

Feelings are clues, signposts, to give you a hint as you journey. And so if you find yourself feeling weary, for example, that’s useful information to notice. Tiredness is a natural, physical human condition when you need sleep but weariness? That’s something else and can point to a deeper issue at a heart level that we need to notice and explore.

Or those times when you’re full of excited anticipation? Those are great indicators that you’re stepping in an empowering direction. Yes, I know you personally get excited very easily, good noticing, but it’s still great to feel those feelings of anticipation and allow them to propel you forward.

And so I ask you again, how are you feeling?

Honestly?

Always. What else?

I’m getting tired but I’ve really enjoyed and appreciated this time together. I’m also feeling a nudge of an idea that I’m excited about.

Want to explore that now?

I’d like to put it out there and you can tell me what you think when the time is right … I’m thinking and wondering what it might look like to share these conversations.

Because before, the love notes were more like a monologue and whilst I was aware of the conversation we were having while I penned things, it was only ever the finished words that anyone read.

And that’s not really how you do life with people. Well, it’s certainly not my experience of how you do life with me. You don’t tend to land a monologue on me. We chit-chat and have questions back and forth.

So to share the whole conversation feels like a more genuine reflection, even if it won’t read as pretty.

Do you think people need “pretty”?

They might prefer it because it sounds more proper so maybe it’s easier to receive?

Okay, time to be honest again … do you prefer “pretty” monologues because they make you sound holier and more “sorted”? Because when we chat in your head, I sound a bit like you, don’t I?

I use expressions that are very firmly seated in the twenty-first century. I don’t sound like I do in the bible because in the bible I sound like whichever of my children I’m talking to, just like when I’m talking to you, I use your language.

Maybe that worries you when it comes to sharing this with anyone else? Maybe you think you’ll sound less “me” or maybe you worry that people will reject this as the writings of a crazy person?

You know that to some people, this whole conversation, the idea of it even, is total lunacy? Conversations in your head? Madness. But I know you’re not worried what those people think. You’re more concerned about being called a heretic or what people like your friends at church or your parents might think.

And the idea of sharing this whole conversation, including the references to people you care about, is scary to you because what if one of them reads this and rejects you? The monologues were safe and feel comfortable because people told you those words were helpful but sharing the actual conversation, pulling back the curtain and giving people a glimpse of what us doing life together actually looks like? Terrifying!

And yes, I know you’ll do it anyway because you know me well enough to know that I can use everything and anything, and in-between these words and what will seem like ramblings to some, there is something beautiful and real and raw.

This whole conversation is an invitation and whilst terrifying, that also excites you.

Well yes, I just hadn’t anticipated that this is what we’d be doing when I felt that niggle to journal with you again. And the logistics of how to present this is also on my mind because it’s one thing writing in a different pen in my journal but how do I do that electronically?

Don’t worry about that right now. That’s just tech stuff and you know that I know you’ll find a solution because that’s how I created you.

Focus on the invitation because we enjoy these conversations but you know there’s nothing special about you. Yes, you’re special to me and I created you for this moment, for such a time as this and that’s also true for every one of my children.

So our conversation is an invitation because, if you, why not also the person reading this?

And yes, I know you would love a nice, neat, succinct soundbite or profound sentence to finish this with but I’m more interested in conversation and relationship than neat soundbites.

—

You’ve been reading the first in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of these things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox

Quite transparently, I wasn’t looking for a job, it was a total God thing. I honestly thought I’d be running my online community, The Blue House, forever.

Even after applying for the job, I had no intention of closing or stepping away from the online space. The job was advertised as 21 hours per week. Why not simply do both?!

But I’m nothing if not open to hearing God’s leading and by the time I arrived at the interview on September 1st, I felt that my time working online was coming to a close. It would be another three months before I fully stepped away, I was keen to end that season well, but I could feel that door closing, even whilst on the threshold of a new one.

The first couple of months in my new role came with the anticipated steep learning curve, plus the challenge of working away from home three days per week whilst still trying to manage the online community.

(I’ll be forever thankful to Donna, our spiritual director inside The Blue House, for her patience and wisdom. It was tough to let go of something that I’d come to see as my legacy but it would have been completely unthinkable without her!)

It’s impossible to pin point the exact moment in the last six months when I started to feel like I was finally “getting it” but, little by little, I’ve started to get to grips with the day to day rhythms of managing the centre and now I can see glimpses of not just “surviving” but “thriving”.

I find myself embracing the new week with a sense of excitement and anticipation. My “to do” list is intentionally short. Not because I don’t have twenty or more different things I could be doing, but because I’ve learned that God has a delightful habit of laughing at my list as he sends all manner of alternate weird and wonderful things my way.

Last week, for example, was my absolute favourite week so far, and none of the conversations that made it fabulous were on my list. Hold onto your agenda too tightly and you miss out on the magic - and I don’t want to miss a thing!

The last six months have been a wild ride. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned things and grown in ways I could never have anticipated. I get to do life with an incredible team of people who have amazing hearts.

And all this while still being true to the person God created me to be. Yes, quirks and foibles and eccentricities and all!

I’ve not done a podcast interview for months but I remember something that I’d often say …

You could pick me up and put me anywhere and I like to think that I’d still be me. The specifics or the expression might change, but the core of who I am and how I show up in the world wouldn’t change.

Well for the last six months I’ve had the opportunity to test that theory - and it turns out that I was right! (Phew!)

And so, at the end of a most incredible six months, I felt nudged to pause for a moment and reflect on the journey thus far - and to remind you that what’s true for me is true for you too.

You are brilliantly and wonderfully created by a God who loves you so very, very much. He is a master craftsman, you are His work of art - and He doesn’t make junk!

I’d like to be able to promise you that I’m going to start sharing more stories here, because there have been so many wonderful stories that I could tell you, even from just the last six months, but I don’t want to make promises that I might not keep.

Instead, what I will say is that I’m feeling a stirring to share more, so let’s just play with that a bit and see what happens.

And, in the meantime, keep being you, you wonderful, dazzling human. You make a difference, in ways seen and unseen, and this world is a more lovely place because you’re in it.

Until next time, keep smiling!

Love El xox

I’m still sitting with Sam to hear the specifics of what that’s going to look like but the one piece I do know is it’s going to continue to involve audio, probably weekly rather than daily, at least while we get things established.

(You don’t need to do anything in order to enjoy whatever comes “next”, it’ll be shared here via the blog and direct to your inbox like you’ve been enjoying thus far.)

Thank you so much for journeying with me over these days, weeks, months and years. I’m full of anticipation for what’s next!

With all of that said, here’s today’s love note …

Your legacy isn’t about projects, it’s about people. Legacy is always about people because people are my priority, relationship is what I’m really focussed on. And so your legacy is every person you’ve impacted in both seen and unseen ways.

Yes, there will be specifics to how the peopling will play out but don’t worry about the specifics. I can show the specifics very easily when we keep doing life together like this. When I know that I have your heart and ear, there is nothing to stop me whispering specifics.

But specifics are always centred around people, relationships, and so that is ultimately your legacy: doing life with me, all in, loving and living with joy, being who I created you to be unapologetically, and loving others into a closer relationship with me in the process. Being who I created you to be, in relationship with me - Youier! That is your legacy!

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” Psalm 28:7 NIV

Journal prompt: Are there any specifics you want to share with me today?

There’s a way through. There’s always a way through - or over or under or round! There is a path already prepared for you and no matter how overgrown it looks to you, trust the process. Trust that you are never traveling alone. Trust that I am with you always.

Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re skipping along very happily, enjoying every moment of the journey, until something catches you off guard and suddenly you feel like you’re falling. Nothing ever catches me off guard and whilst yes, I will sometimes allow you to fall, I’m right there with you. Where would I go? How could I go? You in me and me in you. Where you go, I go, always.

So whether you’re dancing along happily or feeling your way forward, one tenuous step at a time, I am with you and I have prepared a way forward for you. Everything on your heart has a solution and you are a part of the solution!

“You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.” Psalm 139:5 TPT

Journal prompt: What are you inviting me to know about our journey?

Awareness is half the battle in this journey you’re on with me. There are things I’m shining light onto today that have been an issue for a long time. I hadn’t yet shown you those things from my perspective and, as a result, there was a grace on them.

Yes, I’m talking about those things you label as “mistakes” and “mis-steps”. All things, every thing is an invitation into deeper relationship. Nothing is worthless or wasted. I have been getting you ready for this moment your whole life!

You don’t need to be afraid of anything I’m inviting you into. Yes, there’s an opportunity to tweak and adjust some things in your life but this is about moving you towards my best for you. I’m not trying to catch you out or make you miserable!

What do you really want from your life? How do you want to move through the world? What kind of an impact would you like to make?

Every adjustment is about moving you closer to the person I created you to be. This is all about growth and maturity. I’m doing this with you and for you - not to you! You have a choice, you always have a choice. Who do you want to be?

“Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it.” Colossians 3:10 MSG

Journal prompt: What do you really want from your life? Who do you want to be?

You’re wonderful and brilliant, I’ve given you so many gifts and talents and you cannot do everything today. This is not an invitation to idleness, this is a call to rest. Rest can be active and energising. It fuels you and helps bring clarity to everything you’re working on and towards.

It’s great to have those longer-term goals and plans that we’re exploring together. Without vision, you will wither. And, let me help you action those plans in a way that will life-giving for you and the people you care about.

I repeat … this is not about powering through and checking everything off in one day. Let me be your pacer. I know the very best way to move forward into everything I’ve put on your heart. Everything needs to be anchored in our time together. Without that nourishment, you will lose sight of why any of this is important.

Without nourishment you will grow weary and lose heart. You’ll find yourself trying to carry burdens that were never yours to carry! Do all of this with me. That’s vital! You are where you are today because of every whisper and you hear the whispers in the quiet place. Keep seeking my heart. I am your lifeblood.

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

Journal prompt: Are there any goals that I’ve been trying to action on my own?

When I tell you not to be worried about anything, what do you think I mean? Is it possible that there are exceptions or caveats to that invitation? Maybe there are situations you face in your current modern age that were not an issue two thousand years ago and so they’re not covered? What nonsense!

Everything that concerns you is ultimately about people and I know people, I made people. Every person is made in my image and every hair on every head is accounted for. Do not be worried about any person in your life.

Instead, give them to me. Let me help you love and nurture them in the most appropriate way. And remember that these people you love are loved infinitely more so by me! You think you can love but you’ve not seen anything yet!

Let me pour my love into your loved ones. Trust that you really do not need to worry and instead, love each and every person, me-helping you. I am love and I know exactly what I’m doing.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6+7 NLT

Journal prompt: What worries have I been hanging onto?

We’ve explored this before but it’s important for you to remember that you can always hear me. Those little nudges that lead to incredible conversations are from me. It really doesn’t need to feel complicated or confusing to hear me!

And no, you don’t need to announce, ‘thus said the Lord’ every time you follow a nudge. Let me help you share my heart in ways that can be received by others. I love the world, I want to woo everyone into relationship, and I am playing the long game. You don’t need to crowbar mention of me into every conversation.

Instead, follow the nudges, allow me to move and show up in ways far beyond your imagination - and then tell the stories of my goodness. Allow us to journey together, trusting the process, and when anyone asks you about the source of your joy, then you have the opportunity to share my love and goodness in a deeper way.

Light every moment of your day with my love and you’ll never grow weary and lose heart. Moving and living and navigating your day through the lens of my love brings lightness and joy to your soul in a way that nothing else can. Live in my love!

“Worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.” 1 Peter 3:15b

Journal prompt: What story would you like to tell through me today?

You set yourself incredibly high standards and whilst this is to your credit, you have got to be kind to yourself! You expect things from yourself that you would never expect of other people so give yourself the same grace you extend to the people around you.

One of the joys of doing life in community is the impact you can make on others - and the impact they make on you. One of the challenges of doing life in community is that you get to make mistakes out loud, in public, in real-time! Transparency and vulnerability can only be earned by modelling it to others. If you refuse to let people in, how can you possibly expect to see it returned to you?

This is not about washing dirty laundry in public. This is about nurturing a safe space. Safe for the people around you and safe for you too. You don’t have to be perfect so stop trying so hard!

“You must love your neighbour in the same way you love yourself.” Mark 12:31 TPT

Journal prompt: In what specific areas of my life do I need to extend myself grace?

Never underestimate or forget the impact of love and kindness on someone’s day. You are the only bible some people will ever read. Your words carry weight. Your kindness softens hearts. Every act of love helps usher in the Kingdom.

You don’t see all of the ripples but all of it makes a difference in ways far beyond your imagination. You shift atmospheres and break strongholds with your love. Reject any whisper that suggests your actions don’t matter. Everything makes a difference. 

And that’s why it’s so important for us to have this time together. Time together allows us to deal with any heart issues before they start to impact how you show up in the day. Bring every pain and frustration to me and allow me to soothe and calm you. This isn’t about playing pretend when you have legitimate worries and concerns. This is about bringing everyone into the light of my love. Light is the only way to dispel darkness!

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” John 1:5 NLT

Journal prompt: Is there anything on my heart right now that I’ve been refusing to explore with you?

I love doing life with you! When you intentionally make space in your day to hear my heart and share your problems with me, I move in unparalleled ways! This time together is so important, so vital. I am like oxygen. You can hold your breath for a moment but if you don’t breathe deeply you will find yourself withering and depleted. I don’t want that for you!

Remember all of the ideas and solutions we’ve explored together during these moments. Consider these ideas, remember them, when you find yourself tempted to rush into your day. Hearing my heart is not a chore to check off. It is vital to your day!

Never forget how we got here. Without us intentionally doing life together, you would not be where you are today. Everything you’re enjoying today links back to conversation with me, us doing life together. And that’s not because I refuse to speak unless you be still, I’m always speaking! But without the intentionality, you simply cannot hear me clearly.

Yes, you hear the nudges when you’re moving through your day but we need these quiet moments together too. Guard our time. Treat it as the precious treasure it really is. I love doing life with you, you make me smile, and I never want us to stop!

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty saviour. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

Journal prompt: How do I intentionally make space for us to do life together?

Do you believe that I have already prepared a solution for every problem currently on your mind? You say that you do, but your actions and your thoughts sometimes suggest otherwise. I have gone ahead of you and prepared the way. There is nothing on your mind that is outside of the remit of my care and attention and I am moving and working in all things, including these problems, for good.

Your problems only seem like problems because you don’t yet know the answer, so I’m inviting you instead to think of each and every problem as an opportunity. Each problem is an opportunity to trust me, an opportunity to see me move in an incredible way, an opportunity for you to be reminded of just how brilliant I really am.

Yes, you are being invited to partner with the one more brilliant than you can possibly comprehend and guess what? That makes you unstoppable when you embrace each and every opportunity!

“I’ll go ahead of you, clearing and paving the road. I’ll break down bronze city gates, smash padlocks, kick down barred entrances. I’ll lead you to buried treasures, secret caches of valuables. Confirmations that it is, in fact, I, God, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.” Isaiah 45:2+3 MSG

Journal prompt: What is the opportunity in front of me today?

I have given you the ability to see and execute unusual or unseen solutions. You believe the impossible, nothing is a no forever with you, which is why together we will find a solution to every obstacle. You want to achieve the things that others say are impossible but you’re not doing it alone. Get ready to take the people around you on an exhilarating journey!

You were created for this moment. On purpose and for a purpose. I knew exactly what I was doing when I was created you. Let me help you flourish and thrive as you move into this next season with me.

Navigating new opportunities is always challenging, especially when there is so much to learn, but never forget why you are here. What does it look like for you to be who I created you to be in every environment? How can you impact and influence the atmosphere with my love and joy? Remember, you do not have to work hard at this. Simply be who I created you to be with me and the rest will take care of itself!

“For nothing will be impossible with God.” Luke 1:37 ESV

Journal prompt: What impossible dreams are done from your perspective?