A conversation about overwhelm and the hard stuff

Reminder: instead of a neat monologue, this is the whole conversation, typed word for word directly from my notebook. Let's see where we go from here ...

I’m feeling overwhelmed by your goodness. Today has been such an overwhelming day, I’m struggling to get my head around it - but overwhelming in the very best way possible.

You usually think of overwhelm as a negative or struggling word but yes, overwhelm can be great! I wouldn’t want you feeling so overwhelmed all of the time that you can’t function but enjoying time feeling overwhelmed by my goodness, love and provision is good.

Let those feelings propel you forward into everything I’m inviting you into because there is an infinite amount of my goodness, love and provision on offer - and not just for you.

You know this of course but I want to partner with you to share my goodness, love and provision with the world - and that starts with the very next person you see.

How do we make that happen?

We don’t make it happen, the how is on me and it is already finished. I’ve done all the heavy lifting and all you need to do is let me love you, let me fill you so full of an awareness of my love that it bubbles up and spills out onto the people you do life with.

Let me help you love like I do and know that the pressure is off. Like I reminded you earlier, you don’t have to find the right words or figure out a persuasive strategy. You simply need to show up and be you, with me.

We have explored this so much over the years. This is not new or fresh. What about that word about you doing a new thing? How does this fit with that?

It’s this and that. I’m doing a new thing and maturing you like fine wine. I’m sharing new dreams and ideas and taking the things that have gone before and moulding and fashioning them into a masterpiece. I’m birthing new creative expressions and bringing fulfilment to long ago promises. Why must it be either/or?

You make it sound so simple and after a day like today, it feels simple and light and joyful - but how do I keep in this place? How do I live from here instead of getting caught up with the hard stuff?

You can’t escape the hard stuff, it’s still here, but when you keep doing this, talking to me about everything and allowing me to love and encourage and grow you, even the hard stuff becomes more manageable.

Really? That feels like something nice that I’d like to hear rather than something based on any kind of reality. I don’t mean that rudely, I want it to be true, but I’m concerned that I’m simply hearing what I want to hear from you rather than your truth.

And this is why we’re having these conversations - and why I nudged you to share all of it instead of just the neat bits.

Because do you think you’re the first person to think this? One of the gifts I gave you is an ease with saying the things that other people keep in their heads (not that that stops me hearing of course!) and yes, it’s maybe gotten you into trouble on occasions but it’s still a gift that I have honed.

But let me answer your question with one of my own … do you remember the last time you heard something really bad? Something you really struggled with?

You know I do. I’m just not naming it because at this moment I’m aware of my commitment to sharing this whole conversation and I refuse to put that particular update “out there” but yes, I remember. It was really hard to hear and I’m still working through it, as you know.

Indeed, and in that “working through it” with me, what have you noticed happening?

It’s still really hard and if the very worst happens, it’s going to be indescribably difficult but I think I’m moving towards peace. It’s still hard and there’s a background genuine possibility that it could get harder but, day to day, it does feel more manageable.

And that might not yet be true for everyone connected to that specific situation but they’ll get there, me-helping them. The real key is to keep talking, keep being honest about where you’re at, and don’t compare or judge yourself for your feelings.

And remember that none of the hard stuff ever takes me by surprise. Yes, I could stop all of it and no, I don’t always do that and no, now is not the time to wrestle with that particular mystery but I am moving and working and loving on you in all things for good.

Even when “good” looks different to what I might expect it to. Yes, I know. I know and I don’t really always like it but I know that you are good and you are love. And I trust you.

Amen to that!

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You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox