The one where conversation has no hoops to jump through

Reminder: instead of a neat monologue, this is the whole conversation, typed word for word directly from my notebook. Let's see where we go from here ...

Today’s been a funny, upside down kind of day where very little ended up being done when I expected but it still feels like a good day and I’m left feeling thankful.

What were the good bits? What are you most thankful for?

I’m really pleased to have got all those clothes to the charity shop after making a start tidying my bedroom, even if saying that makes me feel like a little kid being sent to tidy her room!

I’m also thankful for how easy it’s felt around processed sugar today. When I’ve tried previously, after an initial buzz of excitement, I’ve usually ended up feeling deprived. It feels different this time and I don’t want to speak too soon, but it feels “done” this time, and that feels great!

And of course the meeting in work was terrific too. I love the opportunity and the people it can help so yes, a really good day.

Thank you for your hand in all of the things today. I know you did stuff that I can’t see and I’m so thankful for that too. But that’s enough about me. What about you? What’s on your heart? What are you saying?

I love hearing and feeling the love and warmth coming from you. I never tire of that and you’re never “too much” for me. You don’t need to be quiet for my benefit and in truth, even when you’re trying to be quiet, you’re communicating so much because I don’t only hear what you say.

I hear what you don’t say, I can feel your emotions and I hear the questions, comments and uncertainties you keep inside your head.

But yes, there is something I’d enjoy exploring with you right now and it’s about the conditions you need for us to chat like this. You believed previously that you need quiet, instrumental music to hear me - and then I started speaking to you even when you had music on that included words.

And then you believed you had to be on your own with me in a room to hear me but here you are, sitting with your notebook quietly while others around you are reading.

You don’t need to jump through hoops or show up in a special way to talk with me. You simply need to be real and honest about where you’re at. Honesty is the best gift you can give me because I bless who you are, not who you pretend to be.

And so right now, when you’re uncertain and not sure, when you can feel yourself at risk of trying to control a situation that isn’t yours to control, when you want to do better but don’t know how, be honest about that.

I’m inviting you to let go of the illusion of control. It is only an illusion so let’s not pretend otherwise. What if you gave everything and everyone you’re concerned about to me?

If it’s on your heart, it’s on my heart - and I’ve already gone ahead of you and prepared a solution. You don’t have to try and figure it out on your own. Instead, simply flow with me and allow me to be God. “Let go and let God.” Yes, it’s a nice soundbite or bumper sticker but it’s also an invitation.

And no, letting go isn’t about sitting around passively doing nothing. Look at Jesus when he walked the earth. Was he passive? Did he hang around doing nothing? Nope, but he did only do what I did and spoke what was on my heart.

And yes, I hear you, it’s easier for him but it doesn’t have to be. You literally have my Spirit living inside of you. You can’t get much closer to me than that!

Wow! I don’t know what to say.

Yes wow. And you don’t have to say anything but I would love it if you could live like you believe my presence in you is true - me-helping you of course. Don’t run off with your willpower again.

But live like it’s true and be prepared for some incredible moments. The best is yet to come!

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You’ve been reading the next in a series of conversations. My intention is to keep journalling and sharing until I get a nudge to stop. I can’t promise a frequency and this is real life so I anticipate it might get messy. If either of those things bother you, feel free to click the “unsubscribe” button. I know this won’t be for everyone and so I won’t be the least bit offended.

That said, if you enjoy these conversations and know someone who would benefit from them, please share this email from them and/or suggest they follow along with the journey by subscribing.

In the meantime, thank you for reading and I look forward to sharing with you again soon!

Love El xox